Other Plans

It was so quiet, yet so very familiar.  I almost dropped the book and glass I was carrying.  Could it be?  Was I hearing your voice after so long?

I listened again.

There it was.  Quiet, yet strong... "Put it down.  I have other plans."

I laid the book down and turned to walk down the stairs.  I almost couldn't do it.  I turned back for the book and there the voice was again, "No. Leave it.  I have other plans."

I put on my shoes quickly and almost skipped down the stairs.  I was joyful.  Anxious to hear from you.  I think I was smiling.

I hopped on the treadmill, ready to walk and ready for the "other plans."  Thirsty for your voice, your words.  The familiar that I thought I'd lost long ago.

I walked and my mind said, "Hey there.  What are you thinking of tonight?"

I was anticipating it would take several minutes or longer for your response.  It had been a while since we'd talked.  I'd always known you were there, yet you'd been so distant.  Or I had... or something...  We'd been apart, not as close, yet feeling closer than ever in the midst of the distance.  The silence.  The questions.  Is that even possible?

There was no hesitation.  You responded quickly.

"Mama."

It's what my lovely has been calling me lately.  Not mommy, or mom.  It's been Mama, for the past several weeks.

I was a bit surprised and my mind instantly started trying to interpret.  But, I didn't need to.  You spoke again.

"It's endearing to hear her call you that isn't it?  There is something very sweet about it."

I nodded yes in response.

"Did you know that it's me?"

WHAT? My mind was reeling.

"When she says 'Mama,' that's me touching your heart.  That's me saying you WERE created for this.  You ARE enough.  You ARE adequate."

The tears were streaming down my face.  I knew it was true.  This really was His voice.  After so long.  It was so strong, so familiar, so comforting.

"She adores you, you know?  She wants so much to make you happy.  Cherish that."

The tears wouldn't stop.  I almost had to stop walking.

He's here.  He always has been.  And he always will be.  My Sustainer.  Using my lovely to touch my heart, to reach me.

He is beautiful.